Open Door?

Last June I left/was fired/ran out of funding from my research laboratory. It was absolutely devastating! Although I reeeeaaaallly didn't get much research done during my time in the lab (another story), the idea of having to start over and having to find new advisor to finish my PhD work was one of the worst things that could have happened to my graduate student career.

Add in the pressure of supporting myself without my cushy stipend, friends and friends of friends asking "Are you done with school yet?", "How is school going?". Explaining to the average person what people in science do, and convincing Joe Blow that grad school, especially in the sciences, IS DIFFICULT and will generally take more than 4 years to complete. So if you add in a lack of research lab for a year, you can just extend your grad career for at least the time you missed :( Most people just don't get it.... *sigh*

I blogged last time that I was borderline depressed. Well, this is one of the reasons why. I have been in academic limbo, and for an overachiever with a master plan for my life, this set back was almost more than I could bear. My only hope is that God's master plan for my life is better than mine. A hard pill to swallow.

Did you know we are in a recession? Well, apparently the academic science community is suffering and taking a huge hit because they lack funding. You know what that means for the unemployed grad student looking for a lab? Yeah, that's right...its extra hard to find a professor who is willing to spend money on acquiring a new student via unconventional means. I have talked to so many professors who told me how much they would love to take me, but they don't have space or money. Gee, thanks for nothing! I have also had at least three professors tell me that they wouldn't be able to take me until the spring, and when the spring came around, they were unable to fulfill their original offer to take me. Door closed, in my face.... ARG!

At this point, I was thinking (am thinking), that maybe the Lord just brought me to grad school so I could get some experience, pick up a Masters, meet some people, expand my horizons. Maybe the PhD wasn't in my master plan? Maybe I was suppose to go go to med school... pharmacy school... law school... or maybe I'm suppose to teach and be a housewife, baking cookies and carpooling????? It just seemed like all the doors were closing and nothing was opening up for me??? What was I suppose to do next? Staying in College Station was getting more and more difficult to justify.

Well..... last week I got some information about a symposium where a bunch of professors who have funding and space were going to present research to recruit grad students. The symposium was focused on genetic grad students, but I went anyway to scout for a biochemistry project to tickle my fancy.

Today was the symposium. It started at 930am. I thought it would be an hour or a hour and a half max. The meeting lasted 3.5 hours! I haven't sat that long in long time :( There were some very interesting labs and some not so much. Now I need to create a short list of professors I'm interested in working with, and make contact with them quickly. They all desperately need grad students and they all have funding and space! Is this a door opening for me, finally?

Of course I have more questions. Do I want to work for a woman or a man? An old lab or new lab? Small lab or large lab? More postdocs/techs or more undergrads? The questions are endless, and my decision is very important! I can't afford another flop.

Im going to think & pray about it over the weekend and try to make something happen on Monday. If you are reading this, pray that the right door will open for me. Apparently, God is in control and he is constantly trying to teach me that He is in control, always. #fact