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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Sports&Love: Girlfriends Guide to Sports Part I

The following rules apply to sports with bonus tips if your significant other is a sports lover. I have had to learn the hard way. So to all the girlfriends, here is my advice. Take it or leave it.... and good luck! 

#1 The "better" team is determined by stats, projection, and who is considered the favorite by consensus.
Note: The term "better" may also be labeled arbitrarily. Avoid any misunderstandings by inquiring about the "better" team from your significant other, if they are the sports authority. This point needs to be cleared up before any matchups have taken place, or your confusion will continue.
#2 When the "better" team does not win, they are not beaten, the "better" team merely chocked. This point may also lead to confusion.  Again, avoid any misunderstandings by referring to your significant other if they are the sports authority.
Note: Rule #2 applies even when "better" team is swept, beaten in game 5, or 6 in a best of 7 series. In almost any situation of the "better" team losing, the outcome is considered an upset. 
#3 Do not assume your significant other will cheer for your team just because you cheer for their team. 
Note:This rule still applies even if a championship title is at stake for your favorite team. Fan loyalty should not be assumed to be automatically reciprocated by your significant other.  Moreover,  the opposite may occur, in which your significant other may cheer against your team. Do not, I repeat, do not take this personally! Remember, this is just sports, meant for entertainment purposes only! However,  if your significant other is irrational about fan loyalty for their team, proceed with caution and act accordingly to avoid future conflict. 
#4 If you have your own opinions about matchups and predictions, be aware that your opinions maybe considered "simple". Note: Do not take this personally, this is just a reflection of your significant other's opinion that your interest in sports is less in-depth than his (this may or may not be true). The key here is to watch ESPN's Sports Center and listen to talk radio independently of your significant other to gain expert knowledge that can not be disputed. However, even then your sports knowledge maybe called into question, because, let's face it, you are a girl.
#5 All commentators/analysts are not considered equal. Just like there are variations in fashion authorities, the same goes for sports. Find out which sports personalities your significant idolizes. This is will give you the best insight into what goes on inside his testosterone controlled mind. 
#6 There is no true off-season for your significant other's favorite sport. He likely has more than one favorite sport and if he has cable-tv or the internet he has access to specialty channels that play classic games from days gone by and sports documentaries. Sports commentary on tv or radio never ends. The off-season will be filled with conversation about trades, drafts, injuries, season projections (see point #1), and training camps. Note: Most likely the "better" team or players will be decided during the off-season, before any play has actually taken place.
#7 Watching the game with your significant other is considered quality time, even if you feel you are being ignored, it doesn't matter if you are not interested in the game. Suck it up, at least you both are in the same room. Count it as a "W". 


Interesting quote about the Dallas Mavericks winning the NBA Championship.... Go Mavs!
"Sunday wasn't a night for the best players - the guys with the Nike deals and superstar labels. It was, rather, a showcase for the better team." - Brian Lowry FOX Sports Jun. 13, 2011 

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