Don't Hate on Valentines Day

So tomorrow is Valentines Day and over the past week I have heard numerous people making comments about how they HATE Valentines day :( The news/media is also on this anti-Vday bandwagon. I wonder why?

Here are the top 5 reason people hate Valentines Day:

1. Its a commercial/capitalistic "holiday" or "Its not a real holiday.. someone made it up, therefore we should not celebrate it! "
2. "I don't have a Valentine"
3. "I don't need to spend money on someone to tell them I love them"
4. "The day is for couples only.. I'm single"
5. "Romance sucks! I don't like people being sappy!"

Lets go through this to dispel some of the myths of Valentines so that everyone can enjoy this special day :)

Check out the History Channel's website.. they have a great write up on the History of Valentines Day . If you don't want to do all that reading.. Basically St. Valentine did not appreciate the decree for Emperor Claudius II (270AD) in which he forbade all the young men to marry, because single men without children made a better crop of soldiers. So St. Valentine secretly wed soldiers until he was caught and executed. Another version of the story states that St. Valentine actually aided Christians in escaping brutality and death by the Romans. Depending on which version of the story you want to believe, St. Valentine was a martyr for love, romance, and justice. The day was not set aside as a holiday until 490AD.

Read up on the spokes person for the holiday,Cupid. Great story about how love conquers all even though we mess things up in our relationships.. true love brings us back together :) There are also some other pegan association with the day that links to fertility and purification.

There is much more to the history of this holiday, but it every story over the ages has a reoccurring theme that presents itself.. LOVE! Love for the oppressed, love for a special person in your life, love for family, love for justice and country. You can't argue with that!

People often are bitter about this holiday (yes, we have already established that this is indeed is a real holiday) because most people are not in a relationship during this time. So what! Get over yourself and stop wallowing in self-pity! Take this opportunity to love yourself! Send flowers to your desk at work, or go get a pedicure, get an extra slice of cheesecake to reward yourself for working hard and paying the bills. No one said this day is for couples only. Love can come in all forms and don't let the media or meddling family members rob you of having special time to reflect and pamper yourself.

And for those religious people who don't like the statement about loving yourself..... you can reflect on the love Christ showed us when he died on the cross for our sins. The greatest love story ever describes the love that Christ has for the pitiful, worthless, sinners that make up the human race. Even in our sinful state he loved us and died for us so that one day we could be reunited with him forever. (Romans 5:8, John 14)

And if the above reasons are not enough.. You can take the day to love on your mother, sister, aunt, godmother, little old lady in your complex or at the nearby retirement center/nursing home. And yes I just listed women, but the day is for men too, they need love :) They might not want a dozen balloons tied to their desk at work, but thy can appreciate a manly Herschy's chocolate bar or white chocolate crunch bar with a note telling them home much you appreciate and cherish their freindship etc.

Now for my socialist friends who are anti-capatalistic and resent the commercialism of holidays in general. I probably should try to be more sensitive to your viewpoint...... but.... I can't! Especially in the current economic status of America we NEED some commercialism. The only thing that will get us out of this recession is going to be the American people spending money. If the people spend > companies make a profit> if there is profit they will increase workers> more workers=more income> more income=more spending .. and vvvvwwwaaaaahhhllllaaaaaa we are out of a recession. Yes, this is an oversimplified scheme, but you get the point. When people get scared of losing everything, they hoard. Spending money on this holiday is like giving to the charity named, "Boost the Economy". Tagline: A portion of the proceeds will go tword re-energizing the economy, creating jobs, and you can bring some happiness to a loved one! Still don't agree?? What?? You don't need to spend money to show your loved one that you care??? YES, you are correct, but what does it hurt (unless u are going in debt to do so)? Everything cost something! Either in actual cost of purchase or by loss of potential income (you taking time off of work). It takes more time and energy to avoid capitalism in America than to actually participate and spread the love around. Valentines day was not created just so you would have to buy conversation hearts and Godiva chocolate! It just so happens that these things are enjoyed by people who celebrate the day. Who cares is NECCO has more profit this year? Have they somehow violated some social contrct? Did they steal your paycheck or garnish wages without your knowledge? You should be thankful people still have jobs and some little girl is happy because her crush thought enough about her to spend his milk money to bring a smile to her face. If I havn't convinced you .. then maybe you should move to another country, maybe a communistic country where everyone is sad because of oppression and you can spend your money buying a bullet proof vest for survival instead of flowers for your mother.

I think I have said enough. I wish everyone a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! If you are broke.. give 10 people a kiss (Herschy or otherwise) tomorrow and if you got some spare change in your pocket give 12 roses to 12 people who are special to you. Either way spread the love around <3

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOOX

Take It Personal!

So I was in the car driving back from my mini-weekend trip from Dallas, and I had XM Satellite radio playing. The station was set on Jamie Foxx's new station, The Foxxhole (149). Its the bomb (I don't know if that lingo is still hot..probably not, but I digress)! So on this particular station they have a mixture of comedy, live talk show, and all types of music--Old school/New school/Neo Soul/ R&B. So a song came named, "Take it personal", by GangStarr. The lyrics to this '92 hit goes as follows:

I never thought that you would crab me Undermine me and backstab me
But I can see clearly now the rain is gone
The pain is gone but what you did was still wrong
There was a few times I needed your support
But you tried to play me like an indoor sport
like racquetball tennis fool whatever
All I know is you attempted to be clever
Nevertheless cleverness can't impress
Cause now you've been expose like a person undressed
cause I see through you, I'm the Guru
Now what you gonna do when I step to you
and when I pay you back I'll be hurting you
This ain't no threat so take it personal
Rap is an art you can't own no loops
It's how you hook em up and the rhyme style troop
So don't even think you could say someone bit
off your weak beat come on you need to quit
I flip lines and kick rhymes that never sound like yours
There oughtta be laws against you yapping your jaws
Originality overflows from in me
and the truth is, that you wish you could live the
life I live and kick the lyrics I kick
But bear in mind that you can't think as quick
So Premier drops a beat, for me to say verses to
And if I sound doper then take it personal
Don't be mad cause I don't come around the way
like I used to, I don't have time these days
I'm keeping busy making power moves
Don't try to say I don't remember you
You shouldn't let your jealousy show like that
I stopped coming by, cause of the way you act
Telling my business to kids I don't even know
You're like a daytime talk show, and that's low
So you can tell everyone, that I'm jerking you
And if you don't like it, take it personal

HAHAHA! Crucial lyrics! This definitely goes with my mantra. Keep it real only if you want me to keep it real too!

Too many times are people confrontational about how they are living or better yet.. how you are living! All in your face saying whatever they want just because they can. But these same people are too fragile to handle any type of commentary from you, even though it may be beneficial for them to hear. Example...

Example #1

When I was younger, I was अ free spirit! My parents raised us, my brother and I, to be self sufficient and trained up to be able to make smart decisions with input from them when decisions were extremely complicated or when decision we made they knew would have long term detrimental effects on our lives. Don’t misunderstand me, my parents ALWAYS had the final say, but they never wanted us to be so dependent on them, that we would never be able to grow up. Many people didn’t like my parent’s methodology. We had many conflicts with my friend’s parents, telling us that we need more discipline and supervision. They told my parents that my brother would end up being a criminal and I would end up pregnant. We were labeled the problem children. This foolishness could not have been further from the truth! Behind the scenes, what was really going on was that THEIR children were the problem kids. Mischievous, lying, promiscuous, back talking, sneaking around, smoking, drinking… you name it they were doing it! We would try to help our shady friends out! Try to keep them from going too far and reeling them back in to safety. It didn’t matter.. we still got blamed for everything. The majority of those people who we grew up with are “out there” doing the things that they were doing secretly as children, but are now adults with their problem in the light. Now everyone can see the difference between my brother and I versus the other supposedly good kids. Its hilarious! Ok, not really, but it is sobering that the people who took so much effort scrutinizing how we were being raised, didn’t take equal amount of effort to examine their own parenting techniques and the lives of their children. They should have kept it real with themselves and maybe they could have been better parents to their children.

Example #2

My little sister is 16yrs old and is a little spit fire! She is the ultimate daddy's little girl, spoiled rotten (no hate here). My parents decided to take her out of the local Adventist academy and send her to boarding academy. She didn't want to go, neither did many of the people in my home town. Concern for a child in your community is admirable, but many people took it too far! They asked my parents.. "Have you prayed about this?", "Have you asked her if she wants to go?"... They also made comments like.. "I don't think you should send her!", "If she were my child I wouldn't send her...", "We hope she doesn't go..", "We think you are making a mistake and you will be sorry". What?! Are you kidding me!? How dare they! If ever either of my parents even made a suggestion about what some of these people did with their children.. it would have been an all out-in your face- "don't tell me what to do with my child"- neck rolling- cussing and screaming- fiasco. So why did these same people feel justified for saying these things to my parents??

Example #3

Since I am new to blogging and this may be read by people who don't know me. I have been in a relationship with Steven L for almost 8 years. We meet in summer before senior year of high school and began dating shortly after. We dated all through college and we are still together. Many of our friends who meet during college are now married and some have even started families. This is really nice :) However, many people do not understand why Steven and I haven't tied the knot...jumped the broom.... entered into eternal bliss.. We tell people that we want to finish school (we are both in PhD programs at TAMU). We have a plan that is working for us, so why do so many people feel the need to harass us constantly about when our wedding plans will become finalized? Why does it matter to these people? What is good for some may not be good for all. And truth be told, far too many of the people who ran to the altar, will probably end up running to the courthouse to dissolve their silly union for reason I will discuss in a later post. Why is patience, especially in a supposed lifelong commitment wrong? I’m just keeping it real because they feel it’s necessary.

Example #4

If you read my introductory blog post, you would have noticed that I mentioned my political associations. I am NOT a liberal. I disagree with many of the liberal political policies. I find it interesting that many people who look like me (black folks), refuse to appreciate that fact that other people (blacks especially) might have a different political stand point. I have been berated by many people about my view that are different from theirs. Why is this such a problem, when the majority of these people couldn't give me a solid support for the things they "believe in", so why attack me? Do my viewpoints offend you in some way other than your ignorance of the subject at hand? If I were to actually respond to the harassment I receive it wouldn't be so nice and many people would have their feeling hurt by their blatant lack of understanding. Now, don't get me wrong there are some educated people who disagree with me, that's cool. But the name of the game should be... Stay informed, come to your own conclusions, READ, and discuss with other people to confirm your understanding on a topic. Don't take what people tell you as sole truth. Most of the time people are lying and making up stuff to get you to go along with their plan.

Bottom line, be careful about the comments you make when your objective is "keeping it real". Let me do me... you do you.. and we can all be happy! But if you insist on being in my business and you find you don't like how or what I do.. then TAKE IT PERSONAL!

The Introduction

Hi, My name is Ebony and I have a blog.

I never thought this would happen! My boyfriend set me up! The reason I was so anti-blogging was because much of what I think, say, or do is sooooo contradictory mainstream, I fear being offensive. Secondly, the internet can be a scary place. Once something is published be it a photo, comment, or something as detailed as a blog.. its out in cyber world FOREVER! I want to one day run for a public office and I don't want something I said years ago coming back to haunt me later. Just like Obama wrote that essay in kindergarten or third grade about wanting to become President and it resurface 40years later!

Anyways... Listed below are 25 random thing about me

1. I am the oldest child of 3

2. I am originally from Dallas, TX

3. Attended Oakwood College (now University) 2002- 2005

4. Attended private Adventist school for 16yrs

5. Biochemistry PhD student at Texas A&M University

6. Own 2 Yorkies ( Max & Felicity)

7. Bought my first car in July 2008

8. Bought my first house Nov 2007

9. Hate standard definition TV

10. I won't drink tap water

11. I am very handy! I installed my own R.O water treatment system, and I own a drill/driver

12. I am a political conservative, yes, not all black people are liberals!

13. My favorite shows that I must DVR: Lost, The Game, House, Fringe, Jeopardy, Young and the Restless, As the World Turns, and Mad Men

14. I refuse to watch network tv shows in their first season (been burned too many times)

15. In a relationship with Steven L since June 2001

16. I have a hard time maintaining female relationships

17. Cooking is relaxing to me! I love to put love in food :)

18. My hair is natural, I transitioned during fall 2002 (7years no chemical relaxers..wow!)

19. I have worn glasses/contacts since 9th grade

20. I have creptitus

21. My core body temperature is always 97.2

22. My eyes change color brown-hazel-green

23. I have never broken a bone, but I did tear my rotator cuff while playing badminton

24. I ऍम a PGK (pastor's grand-kid)

25. I am a progressive Seventh-Day Adventist-- this just means I don't believe in all the folklore that is the Adventist culture.

Want more about me stuff????? I'll post more later :)

About this blog:

I want to do topics that are interesting to read. If you wanted to be bored, you could just read your text book or the manual to the refrigerator. Here are some things to look for.....

The Journey -Losing Weight

Black and Conservative- My Perspective on Politics

Observations- Social Commentary

Hmmmmmmm- Cooking Tips/Recipes/Pics

The Groove- Everything Musical

Life Lessons- Things I've learned and need to share

Love Inc. - Relationship reflections & Advice

Closer to Him- Spiritual Enlightenment

....more to come???

Well, I hope you enjoy reading what I have to say! I'll do my best to keep the posts coming and interesting!

Love ya cyberworld! Until next time.... deuces!

Eb

Ebony doesn't know this, but she now has a blog.

Hi everyone, I'm Steven from Page 3. My beautiful girlfriend, Ebony, is a very good writer with a lot of great thoughts and ideas, as well as a wonderful sense of humor and a level headedness not seen that much anymore. I have been begging her to share her ideas and thoughts with everyone through a blog, but she doesn't want to put stuff out there. Well, now I don't know if she has a choice. I created a blog for her, and she doesn't know about it (yet). I want everyone to know how good a writer and how good a mind she has, and, perhaps more selfishly, I want to read what she thinks :) . Hopefully she runs with this idea, or I am in hot water.