Our Christian Duty?

This past week I have had a rather uncomfortable and rather negative encounter with a fellow Christian who is in authority at our local church. 

Without going into details, I have been reprimanded for watching Eddie Murphy, Raw, standup comedy routine. If you haven't seen it and you don't know what its about click here for a mini summary. The content is very Adult content with crude language.  The problems they had with my choice of entertainment is listed here with the scripture to back up their points:

 1) Behavior consistent with someone in a relationship with Jesus Christ - Due to the cursing and sexual innuendos.

Scripture:  James 3:11 “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” 

EGW/ Others: By beholding we become changed - (from various complilations- Christian Cliche) 

 2) Content is not Pure and Lovely

Scripture: Phillipians 4:8 - "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

 3) A person enjoying this entertainment fails the faith test

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 13:5 -   Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith. 

 The person felt they were justified in judgment and reprimand justified based on the following Scriptual Charge:

 Ezekiel 33:6 

But if the watchman sees the enemy coming and doesn’t sound the alarm to warn the people, he is responsible for their captivity. They will die in their sins, but I will hold the watchman responsible for their deaths.’

 Matthew 18:15-17

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

 

The questions I have are:

 1) What obligation do we have to our felow Christians? 

2) When is a Christian gone to far in relaying thier personal beliefs to someone they feel is doing wrong? Are they ever justified? WHERE IS THAT LINE?!? 

3) Is cursing a sin? or being crude sinful?

I’m not really sure how I feel about Christians pointing out other Christian's perceived sins? I’m personally don't see a situation where I would tell someone what I thought about their "sins" unless they asked me my opinion, or if we were very close and taking such liberties would not be attributed to nosiness. One exception to my listed theory is if the "sin" was putting their life or someone else’s life in immediate danger. And I definitely don't want to violate the Biblical warning by Jesus regarding judging others: 

 Matthew 7:1-5 Judging Others

 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

 For the last point, I don't believe cursing or being crude is a sin (nor do I believe in the so-called stumbling block theory or its subsequent dangers). I think there are things that we do that our society has deemed socially acceptable or not, this does not automatically constitute those things that are not socially acceptable sin. This is just not logical. On the other hand we as Christians should be working to adopt a Christ like behavior... so I don't know how all this works out. 

I would love to hear your thoughts!

How you livin'?

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been pondering what it means to be a Christian and a Seventh - day Adventist? 

So.. I have had many friends who are no longer Adventist because of some drama that has happened in the church that has caused them to either feel that they can no longer live up to the "standard" or they feel they don't want to put themselves through all the hoop-jumping that goes hand in hand with SDA culture.  

Don't get me wrong. I am a strong believer in standards that should be clearly stated. People need direction and definite guidelines, otherwise people do what the "feel" is best and we get some kind of hodgeposh organized chaos. Example, when Casual Friday was first introduced into corporate America it sounded like a GREAT idea. This gave the company the opportunity to let their employees express themselves and increase office moral. The aim was to decrease stuffy professional standoffness and encourage people to interact on a more personal level just by changing out of their suits and putting on a cute pair of jeans and those funky colored shoes you picked up but had no place to wear them...  But as usual, best made plans..... People started taking this self expression toooooo far! Hawaiian shirts, miniskirts, see through shirts men & women, athletic wear and the list goes on. People started losing their minds! Guess what happened next? Yup, someone had to set Casual Friday dress code/guidelines and now we have a new phrase in the English dictionary, "Dressy Casual". What does this new term mean? You can break from the suits and loafers and express yourself in a more causal way, but all the aforementioned items are now on the no-no list. This is a extended example of how things get out of control when everyone is left to define the rules themselves instead of providing a standard for living and doing. 

Far too often people pass along traditions as the golden standard without investigating why the standard was introduced in the first place. Imagine, if you will, the earth has someone managed to survive another 2000 years. People are still working in cubicles, unfortunately, and they still participate in Casual Fridays. The no jean rule survived all this time (and yes, so did jeans), and possible expanded to: no jeans on Friday period. People feel that it is the ultimate disrespect for a person to wear jeans to work on Friday. Why do they feel so strongly about this? Most likely the origin of Casual Friday has been forgotten, but people probably traditionally passed on the information that wear jeans to work on Friday is bad. Are jeans themselves bad? No. Is is bad to wear jeans on Friday? No! But if nobody goes back and thinks about what the people who introduced the standard were trying to accomplish the meaning is lost, and people are merely following tradition for tradition sake out of context. 

This is a really expanded analogy, but I hope you get my point. Adventist have many traditionally motivated dos and don'ts. Because I have been an SDA all my life... I have heard every argument known to man, but rarely do I hear people discuss the "rules" in context to make sense in their own lives. Instead people want to blindly justify what they have always done.. simply because this is something they have always done. On the other hand you have the people who have lived the life aka the been rebellious and have had a conversion experience. This person wholly clings to the rules and regulations regardless how trivial, simply because they feel they need to make up for the time when they didn't follow the rules or they need to strictly follow the rules so they don't slip back into their old lifestyle. I get the impression that they feel that they believe true conversion must be difficult, painful, and extreme. Yes, yes... this is an generalization and not everyone fits into this little box, but that bring me to my next point. 

I read a quote the other day, "The cross you bear is customized". Oh how true this is! The "rules" of the church should be viewed more as guidelines than absolute mandates. Don't get me wrong, there are some absolutes i.e. The Ten Commandments.  But the other so-called-rules (Biblically based or otherwise) should be analyzed in context to where they were found and the general idea that is trying to be conveyed. There is alot of grey in the Bible and I think there is a reason for this. Everyone is different and we all have had different experiences that mold and shape our personalities, weaknesses and strengths. 

 To be safe everyone should use this guide, "Nothing between my soul and my Savior". In other words, don't let anything affect your relationship with Christ, our ONLY hope of salvation! This is a very personalized statement. And our maker and designer knows that we are all different, so He left somethings  in the grey when giving us "rules". He knows what things we can handle and what things we cannot. Example, sexual relationships before marriage. Our maker knew that this extremely intimate bond is not something to be taken lightly. Our body chemistry changes to accept our partner and form a intimate connection that will last FOREVER. This is a non-negotiable guideline that was given to us in the Bible. There are many examples in the Bible and in real life where sexual relationships have impaired judgment and have cause long-term psychological damage that can not be reversed. If we would only follow what God has told us, we would be so much better off. And that’s the point.  

 However there are other so-called rules such as jewelry that has become such a buzz-words we have banished people to the far ends of the earth for violating this SDA mandate! I believe this is totally a traditionally propagated "rule" that needs to be evaluated by every person within the church. Again, I have heard all the argument and I can predict what the opposition will say before they say it, and to you I say... OUT OF CONTEXT! If we go back to the rule of thumb for determining if something is important to your Christian journey, "Nothing between my soul and my Savior", it is clear that this is a personal matter. Some people can be completely obsessed with jewelry. These people should evaluate there connection with inanimate objects and determine that their actions are preventing them from fully having an intimate relationship with their Father, Jesus Christ. These people should not wear or purchase any form of jewelry because it weakens your connection with Christ, not because your pastor can find an obscure verse in the Bible that refers to God instructing the Israelites to remove their jewelry. On the other hand if you are like me, I have lost every mood ring that I have ever purchased. I have no desire to wear jewelry, I would for a special occasion, but its just not that deep, this is not what would keep me from Jesus. Shoes.. maybe..lol

 Jesus only gives us instruction on how to make the relationship He has with us better! He wants to be my friend, my lover, my everything. He doesn't want to come second to anyone or anything. Christ is not trivial and he doesn't waste his breath giving us meaningless instruction. Everything he asks us to do is for our own good, to keep us healthy or in a focused direct connection with Him.

 I know someone is reading this and think, "What about being a stumbling block"? That’s for another blogpost soon to come. Worry about keeping and maintaining your relationship with Christ strong and healthy and the rest will follow. Be an example of how Christ is working in your life and not merely for the sake of being an example. God doesn't need you to reform people, He needs you to become like Him and all the other pieces will fall into place.

 In conclusion, let us stop referring to the Church manual as the ultimate guideline for how to be a Christian, but look to Christ example about how to cultivate and enhance our relationship with our father. Remember, "Nothing between my soul and my Savior", and let us have the attitude that our cross is customized for maximum transformation. Analyze everything to see if what you have been told in given in context and if it applies to your life. Stop doing things for tradition sake and start living life personalized to bring you ultimate happiness in Christ. 

Don't Hate on Valentines Day

So tomorrow is Valentines Day and over the past week I have heard numerous people making comments about how they HATE Valentines day :( The news/media is also on this anti-Vday bandwagon. I wonder why?

Here are the top 5 reason people hate Valentines Day:

1. Its a commercial/capitalistic "holiday" or "Its not a real holiday.. someone made it up, therefore we should not celebrate it! "
2. "I don't have a Valentine"
3. "I don't need to spend money on someone to tell them I love them"
4. "The day is for couples only.. I'm single"
5. "Romance sucks! I don't like people being sappy!"

Lets go through this to dispel some of the myths of Valentines so that everyone can enjoy this special day :)

Check out the History Channel's website.. they have a great write up on the History of Valentines Day . If you don't want to do all that reading.. Basically St. Valentine did not appreciate the decree for Emperor Claudius II (270AD) in which he forbade all the young men to marry, because single men without children made a better crop of soldiers. So St. Valentine secretly wed soldiers until he was caught and executed. Another version of the story states that St. Valentine actually aided Christians in escaping brutality and death by the Romans. Depending on which version of the story you want to believe, St. Valentine was a martyr for love, romance, and justice. The day was not set aside as a holiday until 490AD.

Read up on the spokes person for the holiday,Cupid. Great story about how love conquers all even though we mess things up in our relationships.. true love brings us back together :) There are also some other pegan association with the day that links to fertility and purification.

There is much more to the history of this holiday, but it every story over the ages has a reoccurring theme that presents itself.. LOVE! Love for the oppressed, love for a special person in your life, love for family, love for justice and country. You can't argue with that!

People often are bitter about this holiday (yes, we have already established that this is indeed is a real holiday) because most people are not in a relationship during this time. So what! Get over yourself and stop wallowing in self-pity! Take this opportunity to love yourself! Send flowers to your desk at work, or go get a pedicure, get an extra slice of cheesecake to reward yourself for working hard and paying the bills. No one said this day is for couples only. Love can come in all forms and don't let the media or meddling family members rob you of having special time to reflect and pamper yourself.

And for those religious people who don't like the statement about loving yourself..... you can reflect on the love Christ showed us when he died on the cross for our sins. The greatest love story ever describes the love that Christ has for the pitiful, worthless, sinners that make up the human race. Even in our sinful state he loved us and died for us so that one day we could be reunited with him forever. (Romans 5:8, John 14)

And if the above reasons are not enough.. You can take the day to love on your mother, sister, aunt, godmother, little old lady in your complex or at the nearby retirement center/nursing home. And yes I just listed women, but the day is for men too, they need love :) They might not want a dozen balloons tied to their desk at work, but thy can appreciate a manly Herschy's chocolate bar or white chocolate crunch bar with a note telling them home much you appreciate and cherish their freindship etc.

Now for my socialist friends who are anti-capatalistic and resent the commercialism of holidays in general. I probably should try to be more sensitive to your viewpoint...... but.... I can't! Especially in the current economic status of America we NEED some commercialism. The only thing that will get us out of this recession is going to be the American people spending money. If the people spend > companies make a profit> if there is profit they will increase workers> more workers=more income> more income=more spending .. and vvvvwwwaaaaahhhllllaaaaaa we are out of a recession. Yes, this is an oversimplified scheme, but you get the point. When people get scared of losing everything, they hoard. Spending money on this holiday is like giving to the charity named, "Boost the Economy". Tagline: A portion of the proceeds will go tword re-energizing the economy, creating jobs, and you can bring some happiness to a loved one! Still don't agree?? What?? You don't need to spend money to show your loved one that you care??? YES, you are correct, but what does it hurt (unless u are going in debt to do so)? Everything cost something! Either in actual cost of purchase or by loss of potential income (you taking time off of work). It takes more time and energy to avoid capitalism in America than to actually participate and spread the love around. Valentines day was not created just so you would have to buy conversation hearts and Godiva chocolate! It just so happens that these things are enjoyed by people who celebrate the day. Who cares is NECCO has more profit this year? Have they somehow violated some social contrct? Did they steal your paycheck or garnish wages without your knowledge? You should be thankful people still have jobs and some little girl is happy because her crush thought enough about her to spend his milk money to bring a smile to her face. If I havn't convinced you .. then maybe you should move to another country, maybe a communistic country where everyone is sad because of oppression and you can spend your money buying a bullet proof vest for survival instead of flowers for your mother.

I think I have said enough. I wish everyone a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! If you are broke.. give 10 people a kiss (Herschy or otherwise) tomorrow and if you got some spare change in your pocket give 12 roses to 12 people who are special to you. Either way spread the love around <3

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOOX

Take It Personal!

So I was in the car driving back from my mini-weekend trip from Dallas, and I had XM Satellite radio playing. The station was set on Jamie Foxx's new station, The Foxxhole (149). Its the bomb (I don't know if that lingo is still hot..probably not, but I digress)! So on this particular station they have a mixture of comedy, live talk show, and all types of music--Old school/New school/Neo Soul/ R&B. So a song came named, "Take it personal", by GangStarr. The lyrics to this '92 hit goes as follows:

I never thought that you would crab me Undermine me and backstab me
But I can see clearly now the rain is gone
The pain is gone but what you did was still wrong
There was a few times I needed your support
But you tried to play me like an indoor sport
like racquetball tennis fool whatever
All I know is you attempted to be clever
Nevertheless cleverness can't impress
Cause now you've been expose like a person undressed
cause I see through you, I'm the Guru
Now what you gonna do when I step to you
and when I pay you back I'll be hurting you
This ain't no threat so take it personal
Rap is an art you can't own no loops
It's how you hook em up and the rhyme style troop
So don't even think you could say someone bit
off your weak beat come on you need to quit
I flip lines and kick rhymes that never sound like yours
There oughtta be laws against you yapping your jaws
Originality overflows from in me
and the truth is, that you wish you could live the
life I live and kick the lyrics I kick
But bear in mind that you can't think as quick
So Premier drops a beat, for me to say verses to
And if I sound doper then take it personal
Don't be mad cause I don't come around the way
like I used to, I don't have time these days
I'm keeping busy making power moves
Don't try to say I don't remember you
You shouldn't let your jealousy show like that
I stopped coming by, cause of the way you act
Telling my business to kids I don't even know
You're like a daytime talk show, and that's low
So you can tell everyone, that I'm jerking you
And if you don't like it, take it personal

HAHAHA! Crucial lyrics! This definitely goes with my mantra. Keep it real only if you want me to keep it real too!

Too many times are people confrontational about how they are living or better yet.. how you are living! All in your face saying whatever they want just because they can. But these same people are too fragile to handle any type of commentary from you, even though it may be beneficial for them to hear. Example...

Example #1

When I was younger, I was अ free spirit! My parents raised us, my brother and I, to be self sufficient and trained up to be able to make smart decisions with input from them when decisions were extremely complicated or when decision we made they knew would have long term detrimental effects on our lives. Don’t misunderstand me, my parents ALWAYS had the final say, but they never wanted us to be so dependent on them, that we would never be able to grow up. Many people didn’t like my parent’s methodology. We had many conflicts with my friend’s parents, telling us that we need more discipline and supervision. They told my parents that my brother would end up being a criminal and I would end up pregnant. We were labeled the problem children. This foolishness could not have been further from the truth! Behind the scenes, what was really going on was that THEIR children were the problem kids. Mischievous, lying, promiscuous, back talking, sneaking around, smoking, drinking… you name it they were doing it! We would try to help our shady friends out! Try to keep them from going too far and reeling them back in to safety. It didn’t matter.. we still got blamed for everything. The majority of those people who we grew up with are “out there” doing the things that they were doing secretly as children, but are now adults with their problem in the light. Now everyone can see the difference between my brother and I versus the other supposedly good kids. Its hilarious! Ok, not really, but it is sobering that the people who took so much effort scrutinizing how we were being raised, didn’t take equal amount of effort to examine their own parenting techniques and the lives of their children. They should have kept it real with themselves and maybe they could have been better parents to their children.

Example #2

My little sister is 16yrs old and is a little spit fire! She is the ultimate daddy's little girl, spoiled rotten (no hate here). My parents decided to take her out of the local Adventist academy and send her to boarding academy. She didn't want to go, neither did many of the people in my home town. Concern for a child in your community is admirable, but many people took it too far! They asked my parents.. "Have you prayed about this?", "Have you asked her if she wants to go?"... They also made comments like.. "I don't think you should send her!", "If she were my child I wouldn't send her...", "We hope she doesn't go..", "We think you are making a mistake and you will be sorry". What?! Are you kidding me!? How dare they! If ever either of my parents even made a suggestion about what some of these people did with their children.. it would have been an all out-in your face- "don't tell me what to do with my child"- neck rolling- cussing and screaming- fiasco. So why did these same people feel justified for saying these things to my parents??

Example #3

Since I am new to blogging and this may be read by people who don't know me. I have been in a relationship with Steven L for almost 8 years. We meet in summer before senior year of high school and began dating shortly after. We dated all through college and we are still together. Many of our friends who meet during college are now married and some have even started families. This is really nice :) However, many people do not understand why Steven and I haven't tied the knot...jumped the broom.... entered into eternal bliss.. We tell people that we want to finish school (we are both in PhD programs at TAMU). We have a plan that is working for us, so why do so many people feel the need to harass us constantly about when our wedding plans will become finalized? Why does it matter to these people? What is good for some may not be good for all. And truth be told, far too many of the people who ran to the altar, will probably end up running to the courthouse to dissolve their silly union for reason I will discuss in a later post. Why is patience, especially in a supposed lifelong commitment wrong? I’m just keeping it real because they feel it’s necessary.

Example #4

If you read my introductory blog post, you would have noticed that I mentioned my political associations. I am NOT a liberal. I disagree with many of the liberal political policies. I find it interesting that many people who look like me (black folks), refuse to appreciate that fact that other people (blacks especially) might have a different political stand point. I have been berated by many people about my view that are different from theirs. Why is this such a problem, when the majority of these people couldn't give me a solid support for the things they "believe in", so why attack me? Do my viewpoints offend you in some way other than your ignorance of the subject at hand? If I were to actually respond to the harassment I receive it wouldn't be so nice and many people would have their feeling hurt by their blatant lack of understanding. Now, don't get me wrong there are some educated people who disagree with me, that's cool. But the name of the game should be... Stay informed, come to your own conclusions, READ, and discuss with other people to confirm your understanding on a topic. Don't take what people tell you as sole truth. Most of the time people are lying and making up stuff to get you to go along with their plan.

Bottom line, be careful about the comments you make when your objective is "keeping it real". Let me do me... you do you.. and we can all be happy! But if you insist on being in my business and you find you don't like how or what I do.. then TAKE IT PERSONAL!

The Introduction

Hi, My name is Ebony and I have a blog.

I never thought this would happen! My boyfriend set me up! The reason I was so anti-blogging was because much of what I think, say, or do is sooooo contradictory mainstream, I fear being offensive. Secondly, the internet can be a scary place. Once something is published be it a photo, comment, or something as detailed as a blog.. its out in cyber world FOREVER! I want to one day run for a public office and I don't want something I said years ago coming back to haunt me later. Just like Obama wrote that essay in kindergarten or third grade about wanting to become President and it resurface 40years later!

Anyways... Listed below are 25 random thing about me

1. I am the oldest child of 3

2. I am originally from Dallas, TX

3. Attended Oakwood College (now University) 2002- 2005

4. Attended private Adventist school for 16yrs

5. Biochemistry PhD student at Texas A&M University

6. Own 2 Yorkies ( Max & Felicity)

7. Bought my first car in July 2008

8. Bought my first house Nov 2007

9. Hate standard definition TV

10. I won't drink tap water

11. I am very handy! I installed my own R.O water treatment system, and I own a drill/driver

12. I am a political conservative, yes, not all black people are liberals!

13. My favorite shows that I must DVR: Lost, The Game, House, Fringe, Jeopardy, Young and the Restless, As the World Turns, and Mad Men

14. I refuse to watch network tv shows in their first season (been burned too many times)

15. In a relationship with Steven L since June 2001

16. I have a hard time maintaining female relationships

17. Cooking is relaxing to me! I love to put love in food :)

18. My hair is natural, I transitioned during fall 2002 (7years no chemical relaxers..wow!)

19. I have worn glasses/contacts since 9th grade

20. I have creptitus

21. My core body temperature is always 97.2

22. My eyes change color brown-hazel-green

23. I have never broken a bone, but I did tear my rotator cuff while playing badminton

24. I ऍम a PGK (pastor's grand-kid)

25. I am a progressive Seventh-Day Adventist-- this just means I don't believe in all the folklore that is the Adventist culture.

Want more about me stuff????? I'll post more later :)

About this blog:

I want to do topics that are interesting to read. If you wanted to be bored, you could just read your text book or the manual to the refrigerator. Here are some things to look for.....

The Journey -Losing Weight

Black and Conservative- My Perspective on Politics

Observations- Social Commentary

Hmmmmmmm- Cooking Tips/Recipes/Pics

The Groove- Everything Musical

Life Lessons- Things I've learned and need to share

Love Inc. - Relationship reflections & Advice

Closer to Him- Spiritual Enlightenment

....more to come???

Well, I hope you enjoy reading what I have to say! I'll do my best to keep the posts coming and interesting!

Love ya cyberworld! Until next time.... deuces!

Eb

Ebony doesn't know this, but she now has a blog.

Hi everyone, I'm Steven from Page 3. My beautiful girlfriend, Ebony, is a very good writer with a lot of great thoughts and ideas, as well as a wonderful sense of humor and a level headedness not seen that much anymore. I have been begging her to share her ideas and thoughts with everyone through a blog, but she doesn't want to put stuff out there. Well, now I don't know if she has a choice. I created a blog for her, and she doesn't know about it (yet). I want everyone to know how good a writer and how good a mind she has, and, perhaps more selfishly, I want to read what she thinks :) . Hopefully she runs with this idea, or I am in hot water.